Matapos ang siyam na buwang parang nakalunok ako ng pakwan, simula na ng pinakamahalagang yugto sa buhay ng babae: ang maging ina.

Mga Natutunan:

Manganak.

Inaaral ba yun? Kahit ilang birthing classes pa siguro ang puntahan ko (and for the record, wala akong pinuntahan dahil mahal), iba pa rin kapag nariyan ka na sa delivery room. Kinaya kong manganak ng walang anesthesia (para makatipid), tiniis ko ang labor pains para lang maging normal delivery. At binigay naman yun ng Panginoon at sobra-sobra pa. Pareho kaming malusog na lumabas ng ospital ng anak ko.

Mag-alaga ng bata.

Kasama riyan ang magpaligo, magpalit ng damit at diapers, magbuhat, maghele, makipaglaro. Dati takot ako. As in takot. Pero habang lumilipas ang mga araw, linggo, buwan, dumadali na pala. Malamang, lumalaki siya e. Keri to, ‘teh!

Magtiis.

Jobless. Harang-less. Caffeine-less. Social life-less. Pasyal-less. Kailangang magtiis para sa ikabubuti ng bata. Minsan hindi na ako nakakakain, nakakapagbanyo, nakakatutbras kasi gusto ng batang nakabitbit matapos kumain at para makatulog ng mahaba-haba. Ayaw kasi magpaistorbo.

Magpasensya.

Lalo na pag hirap magpatulog ng bata. At pag umiiyak. Hulaan kung anong gusto niya – gutom ba siya, madumi ang diapers, inaantok, naiinitan, giniginaw, bored, etc.

Manghingi ng tulong.

Noong bata ka, kanino ka nagpapatulong sa homework? Di ba sa nanay mo? Lalo na ngayong may anak na akong sarili, sa nanay ko pa rin ako tumatakbo para tumulong sa pag-aalaga ng bata, at magpaturo sa kanya ng mga dapat gawin.

Mag-adjust.

Hindi na ikaw ang masusunod. Ang baby na na hindi pa naman nakakapgsalita. She’s the boss.

Mag-improvise.

Minsan, gumawa kami ng duyan gamit ang shawl ko at ikinabit sa crib para hindi na mahirapan magbuhat. Gupit dito, tahi doon, tinadtad ng packing tape ang mobile para maikabit sa scrap na tubo, at higit sa lahat, mag-scotch tape ng parol sa may pinto para titigan ng baby pampatulog. Epektib!

Magtanong ng magtanong ng magtanong. At malito.

Maraming nanay, maraming opinyon. Nakakalito kung minsan. Pero natutunan ko rin ang magtiwala sa sarili, sa instinct. So far, wala namang masamang nangyari sa anak ko.
Magpakain gamit ang dibdib (in short, magbreastfeed).

Isa lang ang masasabi ko, WOW! Hindi ko sukat akalaing kaya kong magbreastfeed. Sabi ng iba, masakit, mahirap, matutuyuan ka ng gatas, pero malaki ang pananampalataya kong lahat ng nanganak may gatas. So, go, therefore, and breastfeed.
Magpuri at magpasalamat.

Salamat sa Panginoon at lahat ito’y naranasan ko. Dati, naririnig ko iba’t ibang kwento ng mga nanay – yung mga nakunan, nanakawan ng anak, hindi magkaanak, at namatayan ng anak. Natakot ako, pero naniwala akong ibibigay si Aria ng Diyos dahil may misyon din siya sa mundo. At yan ang dapat niyang madiskubre sa kanyang paglaki. Kaming mga magulang niya aalalay, gagabay, aalagaan siya habang bata. At gusto namin siyang palakihing may takot sa Diyos.

We love you, Ariababy!

– Mommy (and Daddy)

Wow, I can’t believe it. We actually “dated” again after two months!

Except, of course, there’s someone who wanted to join in.

So off we went to eat buffet at Dad’s Glorietta a day after our wedding anniversary. We heard mass the night before at the church where we got married. Since we don’t have a “yaya,” we need to plan on how to eat buffet while taking care of the little one.

I gave Aria full feeding before leaving home, just to be sure she won’t ask for food while we were eating. My husband and I took turns on getting food and looking after the baby, who was just sitting in her stroller after a nap while in the cab.

She did ask for food, however, when we were finished eating (good girl!). Of course, I came prepared.

It was also our first time to use the changing station to change her diaper. My, I never imagined I’d use one!

Then it’s off to the baby section to buy her some clothes. She is getting bigger, so we needed to update her wardrobe. And yes, we nursed again after shopping! The mall’s breastfeeding station is located at the fourth floor, so, the salesladies gladly offered us a small corner and a chair because Aria was crying for food already.

It was a tiring but fun day for the Schatzifamily. And this anniversary is extra special because we have our little angel, Aria, to celebrate it with us. Here’s to more anniversaries!

– Touringkitty

It has been two months since I became a mother. It all came suddenly, as she came out two weeks ahead of schedule.

I did not want to admit this at first. But yes, I am having postpartum depression.

What I thought was just baby blues at first blew into hours and days of sudden crying, missing the busy life I had before pregnancy, and feeling sad being a captive of the condo unit and of my daughter. I don’t know how to take care of this newborn. Giving her a bath was scary. Breastfeeding my daughter became a 24 hour job. Carrying her tiny body was like carrying a priceless crystal glass you’d never want to break.

My then operatic repertoire was overtaken by endless nursery rhymes, Brahms’ Wiegenlied, and funny silly rhymes I can’t imagine I have composed just to make her calm and sleep. It’s as if I can’t do anything else except attend to her needs. I felt can’t even eat, take a bath, dress up, or pee. I’d just look at the clock and let time pass, only to find out that another day is coming ahead. It even came to a point that I feel my husband is not supporting me at all. Of course, he must work.

If only I could go out and bring my baby along, though it’s a tad too early for the little one. I turned down a lot of work already and it saddens me. I only attended one Mass in two months (thanks to television masses I’ve caught up on other Sundays). I fear that I will not be able to get back to the career I was just trying to build.

Simply put, I don’t know how to become a mother.

But I love Aria. She is a joy to watch. She is like a little girl who seems to want to talk already, very attentive and smart, and she rewards you with a sweet smile. She may cry loud at times and hushing her down seems to be a challenge. But I’m up for it, especially when I’m singing for her. Most of all, she’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. And we’re blessed that she came out normal and healthy.

There. I’ve let it all out. Now, time to smile and become a mom.