I (only) Have Two Hands

…and both of them are quite full right now.

For those who know me well, I love being a busy bee. Literally everywhere, singing or teaching or singing still, catching a flight to wherever, watching movies, having frap in a nearby cafe with my hubby and friends, at church every Sunday and on special occasions and meetings, ad infinitum.

Back then, I seemed to have time for everything.

But when I became pregnant, I chose what I only want to do. I dropped everything for the baby in my womb. And it was the best decision I made.

Now my hands are quite full.

I thought it was easy. I quit my job, gave birth, breastfed (because it was SO MUCH EASIER than formula feeding!), we had a daytime helper who cooks, cleans the house and does almost all household chores so I can concentrate on the newborn.

Or so I thought.

When Aria was a few days old, I was even working! One arm holding her, the other typing away script guides. I’ll ask food from our helper (thank God for them!) and voila, food and drink in front of me! Aria gets hungry, no problem! She breastfeeds and goes back to sleep in my arms, waiting for another three hours when she gets hungry again.

Months passed and things got even harder for the mom with only two hands and that little ball of energy! She’s got so much that I can’t cope up. I got back to part-time teaching and singing which I so missed, was reinstalled as music ministry coordinator (being a church volunteer takes dedication, I know, but being in the music ministry is even harder because of rehearsals almost every week! I do hope others would come to understand that), plus the helper all of a sudden disappeared (note to self: DON’T treat a helper again with Chicken-all-you-can, else it’ll be her silent despedida haha).

Add to that, the more my baby became mobile, the more it’s hard for us to change her diaper, give her no-squirm baths, make her sit for more than five seconds in one place. You can’t leave her inside her crib because she knows how to climb over it. She’ll jump up and down her walker and scream on top of her lungs if she’s hungry, bored, sleepy, or if she wanted to walk.

It’s hard. And I only have two hands.

There are days which I wish I’d have another pair hands, or even two more, so I can do everything I have to do.

I do as much work as I can when baby is asleep. But most of the time, I end up sleeping, too. There was even a time I was lying on my side and holding my laptop (it’s quite small — a Sony Vaio Pocket Style PC, and I’m selling it, PM me!) while I was checking emails when suddenly, I fell asleep. Next thing I know, I was awake and beside a half-awake Aria who was thirsting for milk.

The past months I was forced to learn how to cook. Hence, the recipes I’ve been posting. I am having fun, though, and I want to learn a lot more, so that I will not have to serve nilaga or tinola or adobo almost everyday!

And thank God for family who babysits when parents have work! My mom and sister happily (but tired afterwards) babysits when they can.

But on a much lighter note, I’m proud that my daughter learned to sing “I Have Two Hands,” following the last syllables of each line, raising both her arms mightily and clapping them on cue. She’s achieved so much in the past two months alone and I’m one proud mama.

I look forward to more busy days spent with this little girl, that’s why my heart always breaks when I leave her for work. Much more when I come home to her, smiling happily, and shouting: Mama, mama, dede, dede!

It pays to have two full hands, after all.

~ Touringkitty