No other way

One night, my daughter tested my patience.

She does every single night that I put her to sleep anyway, but this particular night, it was horrifying. I was horrifying. And it wasn’t me.

As she was literally tumbling from mattress to mattress (our beds are two floor mattresses linked together), I cried out, “anak, para kang nasapian” (seems like a bad spirit entered). Our helper chuckled, and turned off the lights. My husband slept ahead because he was not feeling well.

So I started dragging my daughter to her sleep area, and she cried all the more, banging her head on the rubber mat-protected walls. I was appalled, really frustrated, that she still hasn’t slept after an hour of chasing her round the room then some Skype-ing with my sister and mom (who just live on the other street).

I forced nursed her just to get drowsy. It worked.

I have skipped days of not nursing her to sleep, and succeeded with just singing and hugging. But this night she so wanted to nurse, specifically on the right side, which I have made her avoid for the day because it was hurting after she pinched and bit it waaaay hard. It’s more painful nursing her now at 28 months and with complete set of teeth than when she was just a newborn.

Besides, nursing her reconnected us after being away for eleven hours at work. It’s how she communicates with me that no one else would understand. Just us.

Sometimes, though, I did wish I didn’t nurse at all, if only to avoid her being clingy. There are times I can’t eat nor pee or poo and end the day being dehydrated because my daughter would nurse for most of the day. Even if she had just eaten or drunk. It might be an isolated case, pregnant moms who consider nursing, so don’t get discouraged. I knew of some families who also exclusively breastfeed and their kids grow mature and independent early on.

As for us, we will continue nursing. That’s what helped me avoid most sickness because of the immunity we pass through the milk and through her suckling. I also didn’t get huge after giving birth! Quickly I lost the packed pounds during pregnancy. It is a great diet pill actually.

No other way but to breastfeed. And I’d be very delighted if more families at least try. We pray for you and your babies.

~ Touringkitty